I usually give my clients some "homework" to work on in between appointments. But for some, the homework is "forgotten" before they can even do it. They have every intention of doing it, but as soon as their session is over, the homework is out of their awareness, appointment after appointment. Sometimes we are so good at going unconscious and moving things out of our awareness, we aren't even aware that we are doing it!
You Aren't Being "Lazy" or "Forgetful"
If you are unable to stay conscious enough to make positive changes in your life, believe me - you have a good reason for doing so - even if you are unaware of what that reason is. You may start your day with the intention to stay conscious of what you are eating, or conscious of your breathing. Before you know it, its evening and you barely remember what you ate all day. Was it healthy? Was it too much? Was your breathing restricted?
In my work, I have noted a direct correlation between trauma and unconsciousness. The more traumatized someone has been in the past, the higher the level of unconsciousness in the present. For example, if you lost all your possessions as a child, you may find it very difficult to stay aware and conscious about reducing the clutter that you have accumulated (to unconsciously replace your lost possessions). Or if you've been traumatized by a physically painful health condition, especially in childhood, you may find it difficult to stay aware of your body in the present moment. Or if your attachment to your parents as a child was insecure and you turned to food for love, you may find it difficult to stay aware of your eating patterns.
We all have a tendency to avoid pain of all types. Especially the pain of shame. Shame is the lowest possible vibrational state. As such it is a very uncomfortable state to be in. We will do almost anything to avoid feeling shame - including becoming unconscious and numb. And its often at the root of current avoidance. Although the examples above were caused by past trauma, the bottom line is they all felt shame - one about their clutter, one about their body, and one about their excess weight. We can also feel shame about being unable to stay conscious.
In order to discover why you are going unconscious, the critical factor is trust.
The Importance of Trust
You will not discover why you are going unconscious unless you trust yourself. If there's a possibility that you are going to judge yourself for not remembering, or for not doing your deep breathing, or for not following your eating program, or for not working on clearing your clutter - the reason will stay hidden. That part of you will go mute, just like a frightened child who is afraid to open her mouth and confess to judging parents. What this part of you needs is unconditional love and acceptance not judgment.
Here is an affirmation that can help you trust yourself:
Even though I have judged myself for doing _______ in the past, I love, accept, and forgive myself - completely and deeply.
External Reminders
Its certainly OK to use external reminders of your goals while you are working on loving and accepting yourself, and building trust in yourself. Once the new behaviors become habit, you can remove these external reminders.
- Set up a reminder alarm on your phone with a gentle ring tone
- Put up signs around your home or in your car, like "BREATHE!"
- Write yourself reminder emails through one of the free online email reminder services
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