Saturday, October 8, 2016

The Power of Self Tenderness

     "There is nothing as strong as tenderness. And nothing as tender as strength."  
~ Saint Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life

     No matter how much money I have in my bank account, I tend to feel some anxiety when I'm checking my balance, or paying my bills.  This morning was no exception. As I felt the anxiety creeping in,  I began talking to myself out loud in the same soothing voice I would use for a loved one who was fearful. Almost immediately I felt myself relax. Amazing! Could it really be that simple? Well... yes and no.  It is as simple as talking to yourself with kindness.  But making the shift to doing so can be challenging. Because for many of us, negative self-talk is deeply ingrained.

     For  sensitive persons who are awakening and growing, who are usually also empathic and have a lightworker purpose  (read HERE to find out if you are an empath) learning how to talk lovingly to self is the mastery phase of the ascension process. This is because loving self-talk is a master key to health

    Although we talk lovingly to our pets, children in our lives and other loved ones, it may feel "wrong" to treat yourself tenderly.  You may have never even considered this before, the disparity between how you treat yourself and how you treat your loved ones. We tend to exclude ourselves from our circle of loved ones!  But the truth is, in order to truly love others, you must align yourself with self-love. Because kindness is the healing salve for your wounds (more about that HERE)



How to Talk To Self With Tenderness

     Here are some tips to learning how to be tender with yourself:
  • Tone and Energy. Talk to yourself using the same soft tone and energy that you would use for a child, a beloved pet, or a dear friend.  Cherish yourself by showing tenderness.
  • Words. This self talk could be anything from "Sweetie" or "Honey" to "You can do this. I believe in you."
  • Know that it may feel awkward to talk to yourself this way - like trying to be affectionate with a stranger. Because many people are so estranged from themselves they do feel like a stranger! If you are just starting a relationship with yourself, it can take time - just as it takes time to get to know anyone new in your life. 
  • Imagine someone you care about in distress. What do you feel? The caring feeling accompanied by an expansive feeling in your chest is compassion. Now transfer that feeling of compassion to yourself. 
Tender Self-Talk Vs Narcissism

     I want to make a point here that tender self-talk is not narcissism!  A narcissist's self-talk would be more like "I am better than others." Being tender with yourself is about treating yourself as well as anyone else, not treating yourself as superior to others.

The Power of Self Tenderness

     Self-love has a powerfully positive effect on your health and well-being. And here's why: Loving yourself aligns you with the truth of who you are.  This is a universal truth - you are lovable and acceptable always and forever, no matter what.  When you deny yourself love and acceptance, this produces a state of disharmony which disrupts the flow of your energy. And the state of your energy determines the state of your health.

     When you are tender with yourself, your energy instantly shifts to a state of harmony, which is your natural state of health and well-being. This is why I immediately felt myself relax when engaging in tender self-talk during an anxious episode.

     Tenderness is powerful medicine - energy medicine, what I refer to as The Other Medicine That Really Works. 



     
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2 comments:

  1. Thank you for the reminder that the softest of expressions has the greatest power of all.

    ReplyDelete

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