How to Heal Shame and Work with Your Shadow

     "The problem of secret stories surrounded by shame is that they cut a woman off from her instinctive nature.  ...draw out the secret, for it makes a wound that will not heal until the matter is given words and witness." ~  Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

   "The body can encapsulate and isolate the effects of trauma for years, but doing so requires a lot of energy." ~ The Other Medicine That Really Works 

      If you are a highly sensitive person, an empath, and/or a lightworker.... likely you are experiencing ascension symptoms as you upgrade to higher frequency energy. This is happening to all of us who feel called to make the world a better place.  Because these upgrades in your energy systems facilitate and actualize your life purpose.

   As we grow, evolve and ascend, we can become aware of what we have repressed and hidden in the shadow, namely that which causes us to feel shame.

The Energetic Frequency of Shame

   According to the "Scale of Human Consciousness" (page 25 of Awaken Your Greater Health), which was derived from Power Vs Force by David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.,  shame has the lowest vibration of all consciousness states. On a scale of 0 to 1,000, with 200 and above being within the frequency of empowerment, shame vibrates at 20! It is a vibration that is incompatible with health. Some of the sickest clients I have ever worked with vibrated predominantly in shame.

   The feeling of being at such a low frequency is just plain awful.  It makes us feel bad about ourselves and broken. It can make us feel raw, vulnerable, exposed, and angry. It can make us want to crawl in a hole. The feeling of shame is almost unbearable. And we will do just about anything to avoid it.

     To keep from feeling it, we will hide it from our consciousness and encapsulate it in an energy "cyst." But keeping the energy of shame encapsulated is exhausting. And it makes it difficult to heal. Because when it is hidden from our consciousness, it becomes a secret.

    Keeping a secret hidden takes a toll. The energy cyst creates energetic disruption, like a boulder in the middle of a stream disrupts the flow of water. Even if we are unaware of what is in the shadow, we feel the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual symptoms of energetic disruption:

• feeling tired or exhausted
• feeing disconnected and alone
• pain or discomfort
• tension or tightness
• Feeling triggered with negative emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness
• repetitive negative thoughts
• health issues

The Woman with Hair of Gold

      To understand the nature of healing shame, let's take a look at the archetypal story of the The Woman with Hair of Gold, which you can read in Women Who Run With the Wolves. This is a story of a woman with hair like spun gold who lived alone in the woods. When a local brute tried to coerce her into marriage, she appeased him by giving him some of her hair. But when he tried to use the hair as currency in the marketplace, the locals ridiculed him. In a rage, the man killed the woman and buried her body near a river.

     Although no one noticed her passing, her hair continued to grow even after her death. It came up through the ground in beautiful spiraling curls, eventually creating a field of golden reeds. The shepherds cut the reeds, making them into flutes. With the flutes they sang about the woman with the golden hair who was murdered and buried there. And because they sang the truth, her murderer was brought to justice and safety was restored.

   As in all symbolic stories, a well as our nighttime dreams, every aspect of the story represents a part of us:

• The marketplace locals represent the situations that trigger a feeling of shame. 
• The brute is the part of us that feels rage for being shamed.
• The hair represents our spirit, the part that can never die. Even when we have been silenced and our energy disrupted, our spirit remains untouched at our core. 
• The appeasement represents how we barter our life force by giving away our energy to people please. 
• The murder represents how we kill off our vitality when we hide and bury our shame. It also symbolizes the silencing of ourselves and the divine feminine. 
• The absence of inquiry after the woman's disappearance represents our unconsciousness in hiding our secret shame. When we bury our shame, it becomes hidden from our consciousness and we are unaware of its existence. Therefore we do not inquire about it. 
• The lack of inquiry about the woman's disappearance also represents the devaluing of the divine feminine. It symbolizes the diminishment and marginalization of women in a society where they are seen as expendable.  We internalize this by devaluing ourselves. 
• The hair turning into reeds represents our transformation from one state of being to another.
• The reeds becoming flutes represent the part of us that transforms and becomes a vehicle for expression. The reeds becoming flutes are the part of us that has a voice to speak the truth.
• The justice represents the restoration of our balance and harmony when the shameful secret is voiced. 

Shadow Work

     To begin to heal shame, we need to raise our energetic frequency from 20 to 200. On the Scale of Human Consciousness, 200 represents the threshold of empowerment. It is also the frequency of courage. To heal, we need to find the courage to shine a light on the hidden shame and look at it. To heal we need the courage to express what we find in the shadow.  In the shadow is what we have disowned, what we believe is unacceptable...what we have hidden in the darkness. We know it’s there because of the triggers.

     Upon finding courage to look below the surface at what is causing the triggers, we can take ourselves to even higher energetic frequencies by unconditionally loving and accepting ourselves.  On the Scale of Human Consciousness, acceptance has a frequency of 350, and love has a frequency of 500.

    You do NOT have to accept the shame, or the circumstances surrounding the shame. Simply accept YOU. You are not your shame. You are an acceptable person experiencing unacceptable shame. This is a very important distinction. By accepting YOU, even in a state of shame, you raise your energetic frequency from 20 to 350! By loving YOU, even in a state of shame, you raise your energetic frequency from 20 to 500!

Healing Affirmations

     Here are some healing affirmations to say out loud to help you heal shame and what is in your shadow.

     Even though I am experiencing shame, I have the courage to take a deep breathe and voice what I'm ashamed about, even if only to myself.

     Even though I find my shame and the circumstances around the shame unacceptable,  I am always an acceptable person. 

     Even though I am experiencing shame, I send unconditional love to the part of me that is feeling ashamed. 

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