How to Heal From Gaslighting: An Energy Healing Perspective

      "Gaslighting can occur only when a gaslightee tries -- consciously or not -- to accommodate the gaslighter, or to get him to see things her way, because she so desperately wants his approval so she can feel whole." ~ Dr. Robin Stern, The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life.

     A particularly damaging form of abuse that I have become familiar with through clients in my energy healing practice is called "gaslighting." Let's take a look at this type of abuse through an energy healing perspective.

What is Gaslighting?

   Wikipedia defines gaslighting as "a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted or spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception and sanity." The term originates from the 1944 film Gaslight in which the husband manipulated the environment to convince his wife that she was insane.

     Gaslighting abuse can happen in any personal relationship, work setting, religious or governmental organization that over-rides the truth of who you are and convinces you that your perception of reality is false. Gaslighting abuse can range from overt to subtle. Abusers are narcissists who may or may not be conscious of what they are doing. But the outcome is the same: The abused's trust in their own instincts and intuition is damaged. And without their instincts and intuition to guide them through life, a person who has been abused through gaslighting can become isolated, depressed and lost.

 Healing From Gaslighting Abuse

     Healing from gaslighting abuse begins with awareness, focus, breathing, discernment, and letting go. Abused individuals tend to look to others to confirm their perceptions. They have been conditioned and brainwashed to ask others to make decisions for them. Deep healing happens when they look within for their answers from their higher self.

1. Awareness.  This begins with becoming aware of how you are being gaslit, and how you may have internalized the abuse. Doing so initiates the process of healing. Any self talk that creates doubt, confusion, and undermines your self-perceptions with labels like "silly" "stupid" or "crazy" is internalized gaslighting. Replace these with "I believe in you" and think in terms of how you can best support and help yourself. 
2. Focus. Imagine a classroom full of unruly kids who are yelling out answers to questions, hurling insults at each other, throwing paper airplanes and spit balls. But in the back of the room is a quiet child who knows the answer. Your job is to tune out the inner loud voices that are shouting "You aren't enough" or "You don't know what you're talking about" or "You can't do it" and zero in on that small voice within you that speaks wisdom. Know this: What you focus on will grow. The more you withdraw your focus from your lower self voices, the more they will fade. The more you focus on the wise, higher-self voice within, the more it will grow -- giving you direction and support in your life. 
3. Breathing: Gaslighting creates a state of confusion and disorientation because it energetically disrupts your orientation to self.  It un-grounds and un-centers -- making you off balance. If you are flooded with negative thoughts and emotions and feel confused, know that you do not have to figure it out. You don't have to make sense of your abuser's behavior or reaction, or make sense of your inner abusive voice. Analyzing just pulls you out of your physical body and into your mental body, which creates an un-grounded state. Bring yourself back in your body by deep breathing for at least 10 minutes, bending your knees, feeling the floor or the ground beneath you and getting to safety. 
4. Safety: If you are being gaslit, get to a safe environment. This may be just going to another room, a place where you can be alone and begin to tune in to the wisdom of your own soul. The best place to do this is outside where you can become more grounded and clear, and recover your energy and shift to your higher self. You do not have to be around people who are narcissistic and abusive. You deserve to have loving, supportive people in your life. See #6 for how respond.
5. Discernment: If you get confused as to what to listen to, here's a simple litmus test: Any inner voice, or any outer voice that makes you feel bad, creates doubt, instills fear, etc is coming from the lower self. Any inner or outer voice that makes you feel supported, and is loving, wise and empowering is a higher-self voice. 
6. Letting Go: Let go of your need for others to approve of you and to see the truth of who you are. When you need someone to approve of you - you hand them your power. Deep down, you know who you are and it is very confusing for a gaslighter to contradict that truth. Narcissists are simply not capable, or not willing to reflect back another's worth in relationship. For an empath, that is likely to never make sense! Disengage from defensiveness. Agree to disagree with your gaslighter's opinion by repeating statements such as, "I see things differently." This will keep you in your higher self even while your gaslighter is in their lower self.

Issues for Empaths

     Empathic persons are the most susceptible to gaslighting. To find out if you are an empath, read this. Empaths often have a lightworker life purpose of helping others and making a difference. They are greatly needed in the world.  But damage from abuse can block them from actualizing their purpose. It is in healing from abuse that many empaths discover their gifts and live their purpose.
   

      For more energy healing solutions for sensitives and creatives, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books, oracle cards and guided meditations that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health!
 
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How to Dialogue With Your Body

       "Pain is the body's voice. Listen to your body."  ~ Pete Egoscue, Pain Free for Women

      I have had chronic pain on the inside of my right upper leg for almost eight years. This is a result of tearing a groin muscle twice, coupled with many smaller injuries. Once an area has been injured, it becomes prone to re-injury. The is true of any kind of injury -- mental, emotional, spiritual or physical. The muscles and tendons in my leg have become rigid and reactive. It is as if my muscles are expecting to get injured, and are bracing for it. And then injury does happen -- again, and again. When an emotional or spiritual injury has occurred, it will tend to become a repeating pattern as well.

     My leg is in "victim mentality," or wounded mentality - which are the same thing. People in victim mentality give off a "victim vibe" or a "wounded vibe" that unconsciously attracts more wounding. As does my leg. You can read more about that here. 

     How can muscle cells have wounded mentality? Because our intelligence is not confined to our brains. There is intelligence in every cell of your body.

     My physical therapist and massage therapist tell me to stretch, but when I do my body tissues become defensive and go into spasm. This is exactly what happens to people who have been traumatized. They become reactive when triggered. The solution? Dialogue with your injured parts.

Dialoguing With Your Body

     Dialoguing is a way to communicate with yourself for healing. To begin:

• Find a place free of distractions.  
• Get in a comfortable position. 
• Close your eyes and take slow and deep breaths throughout the conversation. 
• Connect with your compassion for your wounded parts.
• Ask questions with the utmost of respect completely free of any judgment.

    My favorite places to do this are outside, or in the bath tub where my body can relax in the warm water. If I'm outside I burn some incense. If I'm in the bath, I add some epsom salts and lavender oil to the water.  The conversation can take place in your mind or out loud.

    If you had the ability to talk to a wounded part, how do you imagine that wounded part would answer the question: "How are you?"  Fill in the blank with the answer: "I am _____."  If you aren't sure of the answer, ask more questions: "Are you tense? Sad? Scared? Guarded? Hurting? Tired?"  Then imagine how this wounded part would answer the question: "Is there more?"

    Continue asking questions and stay in a place of total patience, as you would with a child or a best friend who needed assistance. If it's a body part, you can hold that part with your hands in a supportive way. Now ask "What do you need to heal?" And imagine how this injured part would answer.

    My injured leg wants to be heard and understood. The more I dialogue with it, the most it begins to trust and drop the guard, which means less spasm and less re-injury. It means the physical therapy is more effective. And it means that it is finally healing.

      
      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

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What Does a Coincidence Really Mean?

     "I do not believe in meaningless coincidences. I believe every coincidence is a message, a clue about a particular facet of our lives that requires our attention." ~ Deepak Chopra, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence 

     I recently watched the movie The Danish Girl.  The film is based on the true story of Danish painter Einar Wegener. Below is one of Wegener's landscapes.

 

     In the film, Wegener's wife asks him why he always paints the same thing - a row of trees. What we now know is that Wegener was hiding a secret - even from himself.  Although born biologically a male, Wegener felt like a female inside. The rigid row of trees in his paintings were a reflection of how he had to keep himself in line -- blocking his feelings to prevent his authentic self from emerging. Because it didn't feel safe for him to be his authentic female self.

     Although its no secret, I have also been "hiding" something in my body. I've been carrying the pain of being an abused child. Decades of holding myself in line have taken a toll on my body. My muscles and tendons are full of scar tissue and adhesions from unconsciously and habitually restricting my physical movements. Our bodies were meant to move 3-dimensionally. But when we have been traumatized, we can restrict our movement, voice, thinking and beliefs to  "the straight and narrow" to protect ourselves and keep us safe. This shuts down our energy and prevents our authentic self from emerging. Because it doesn't feel safe to be authentic.

     I've been getting physical therapy to break down the adhesions and scar tissue in my body. As the physical restrictions are released, the trauma of the past is released with it. The day after I saw The Danish Girl, I had one of these PT sessions. As I got off the table at the end of the session, I noticed this print on the wall:

     I was immediately struck by the similarities to Wegener's landscapes. It may seem that seeing two landscapes with a similar pattern within 24 hours is a "coincidence." But what does a coincidence really mean?

•  It means to pay attention.  
•  It means this is significant.  
•  It means a connection has just been made
•  It means an opportunity to become more conscious has presented itself.
•  It means you've just been provided with a clue to more information about your circumstances.

    If we are afraid to look at what has been hidden, we will dismiss these occurrences. When we have the courage and willingness to look at these patterns, we grow.

The Choice

     When I noticed the pattern of similarity, I could have dismissed it. But I made a choice to meditate and write about the experience in my journal. It helped me to become more conscious of what had been hidden, and to pay more attention to how I move my body.

     When a coincidence happens, you too have a choice. You can dismiss, or find the courage and willingness to look at what you may be hiding. We restrict ourselves in thought, belief, voice and movement to protect ourselves. But that protection restricts our energy flow and can become a prison. It blocks joy, freedom and the fulfillment of your heart's desires. If you have the courage and willingness to expand beyond self-imposed limitations:

• Take note of any coincidences, synchronicity, serendipity or repeating patterns in your dreams and life in an observing state of mind, free of judgment.
• Write them down in your journal
• Meditate on these patterns, asking what is yours to learn from them and see what insights emerge.
• If you don't understand the message, ask for another sign that will clarify.

      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

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What Does Wellness Really Mean?

     "Wellness seeks more than the absence of illness; it searches for new levels of excellence. Beyond any disease-free neutral point, wellness dedicates its efforts to our total well-being - in body, mind and spirit."                      ~ Greg Anderson, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness

     Wellness is defined as a state of being in good health. But what exactly does it mean to be well and to be healthy? What I have discovered about wellness and health in my 35 years of experience in Western medicine and energy medicine may surprise you.

Health is Dynamic

     I rarely use the word "wellness."  But sometimes I have to use certain words or the public won't recognize what I'm talking about! And here's the reason why I don't use it: Because people think wellness is the opposite of illness.They think wellness is a state of "non-illness." But health is not stagnant. Health is a naturally dynamic state that includes both wellness and illness! Read more about that here.

     The natural variability of your mood, health and bodily rhythms is healthy. For example, research shows that the greater the variability of the heart rate, the healthier the heart and the more stable and healthy the body. And what governs those bodily rhythms is the state of your energy.

Health is Energetic

     Everything is energy, including your thoughts, beliefs, emotions and bodily rhythms. And the state of your energy determines everything about you - your health, your happiness... even the shape of your body and the sound of your voice. The state of your energy is determined by two factors -- frequency and flow.

       Wellness isn't just eating healthy, raw foods, using "wellness" products, and thinking positive thoughts. It's so much more than that. All these will raise your vibrational frequency, and I recommend them. But you have to look at what's causing your frequencies to be low in the first place, as well as what is obstructing your flow. Any kind of block in your life is energetic -- whether that is writer's block, an athletic performance slump, poor libido, lack of passion for life, or just plain feeling stuck. 

     Western medicine treats disease symptoms, and that can be important, especially if your symptoms are life-threatening. But to restore energetic flow and raise frequency, you need energy medicine.

Health is Inclusive

        Health at its highest expression is physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being that includes fulfillment in your relationships, your career and your life. It includes fulfillment of your unique life purpose.

    
      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive an creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

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How to Overcome Victim Mentality

     "Trauma creates change you don't choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose."
     ~ Michelle Rosenthal, Your Life After Trauma

     I had a dream recently that I'd like to share with you. It involved a character who was in victim consciousness, or victim mentality. Wikipedia defines victim mentality as "... an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence."  This would include seeing yourself as the victim of the negative actions of the universe, God or a higher power.

     I want to make a point that this article is NOT about victimization, which is of course real and serious. Tragically, victimization happens far too often to far too many people. Part of the tragedy of victimization is the formation of victim consciousness.  This article is about victim consciousness, which is an energy pattern that can happen after victimization that colors our perceptions, and can create misfortune and powerlessness in our lives.

     In my dream, the character had become lost. Even though an elevator was right in front of her, she remained stuck, unable to move because she couldn't find the person who was supposed to tell her what floor to go to. Indeed, when we are in victim consciousness we feel powerless and can become dependent on others to tell us what to do.

     Dream themes are metaphors. In this dream the elevator is a metaphor for moving or ascending from one level of consciousness to another. The dream elevator is a symbol of personal growth. The message of the dream is this: When we are living in victim consciousness, we can lose our way on our path of personal evolution and become stuck -- even though the path may be right in front of us. But even if we think we are hopelessly lost, the solution to the issues of our lives are within us.

     Almost everyone has been victimized in some form or another. But victimization is something that happened to us. It is not who we are. Unfortunately, when we have been victimized our identity can be set in victim. And as long as you believe you are a victim, and think like a victim, your life circumstances are not going to change. Change comes through changing your beliefs about yourself.

     You Are a Creator

     The first step is to shift your identity from victim to creator. It may be hard to believe you are a creator if you are repeatedly experiencing mistreatment and misfortune in your life. This is because your life is created from your energy patterns, and your beliefs shape your frequencies. In other words, if you believe you are a victim, you put out a "victim vibe."

     If you vibrate in victim, you haven't done anything "bad" or "wrong"! There is no judgment in energy. The "vibe" we put out is unconscious. But once you become aware of it, the belief is brought to consciousness. And then you can do something about it.

     Here's the tricky part.  What I have observed is that people tend to judge and attack themselves once they realize they have been unconsciously creating victim experiences in their life. Or they will feel embarrassed or guilty. In order to shift out of victim consciousness, choose compassion for yourself. Have compassion for the part of you that has been wounded and conditioned to feel like a victim. And focus on what you are willing to change.

     The Magic of Willingness

     I know the title of this post is to "overcome" victim mentality, but I only used that word because it's the word people usually use when searching on this subject. But it's not about overcoming. Its about healing, and that involves shifting from disempowered to empowered.

     What we need to move forward in life is willingness. In order to get on the elevator in the dream, we need to be willing. Because willingness empowers you. Willingness shifts our energy out of victim vibe. All you need to do is complete this sentence with what you are willing to do:

     Even though I've been conditioned to believe I am a victim, I am now willing to..

     ....change how I look at my life circumstances.
     ...let go of my need to know exactly where I'm going.
     ...consider that I am a creator, not a victim. 
     ...have compassion for the wounded part of me.

      
      For more energy healing solutions for sensitives and creatives, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books, oracle cards and guided meditations that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health!


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How Sunlight is Good For Health

       "Sunlight may cause skin cancer but, paradoxically, there is growing scientific evidence that the sun's rays could play a key role in preventing and ameliorating a number of serious degenerative and infectious disease." 

~ Richard Hobday, PhD, The Healing Sun

     April showers may bring May flowers, but rain clouds made me SAD! SAD (Seasonal Affect Disorder) is a depressive disorder that usually strikes in the winter when sunlight levels are at their lowest. But as an intuitive empath, the more I evolve and grow, the more sensitive I become. A string of cloudy days any time of year can now significantly affect my mood. The fact that so many people suffer from SAD is a testament to how important sunlight is to our health. 

We've all seen pet cats and dogs pick the sunniest spots in our homes to lie in the sun. They instinctively know what people have known for eons; sunlight is vital for restoring and maintaining good health. Historically, sunlight therapy, or heliotherapy, has been effectively used in the prevention of tetanus and gangrene in war wounds, as well as the treatment of tuberculosis, smallpox, and other serious health conditions.

      However, due to fears about skin cancer, cataracts and the shrinking ozone layer, current guidelines recommend severely limiting sun exposure and protecting the skin with broad spectrum sunscreens. We now live our lives almost entirely indoors in buildings that are no longer designed to maximize sunlight. But the truth is there is no evidence that depletion of the ozone layer has caused an increased incidence of skin cancer. Nor is there any evidence that avoiding sunlight, using sunscreen, or wearing sunglasses prevents skin cancer or cataracts!

     It is sunburns that increase the risk of skin cancer. And it is a lack of sunlight, as well as a diet deficient in antioxidants and exposure of the skin to toxic chemicals from products such as cosmetics and many sunscreens that pose a risk to our health.

How Does It Work?

     The healing action of sunlight is energy in the form of electromagnetic waves. These waves of ultraviolet radiation irradiate blood in capillaries near the surface of the skin, increasing the formation of white blood cells called lymphocytes that are necessary for a healthy immune system. This energetic action also increases the oxygen content of the blood and accelerates elimination of toxic chemicals from the body - detoxification.

      Not only does sunlight energy detoxify and strengthen the immune system, it also synthesizes vitamin D production in the skin, essential for healthy teeth and bones and in prevention of the serious diseases and cancers associated with vitamin D deficiency. Such a deficiency is linked with depressive illnesses such as SAD; cancer of the skin, breast, colon, ovaries, and prostate; diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, multiple sclerosis, psoriasis, rickets, osteoporosis, and tuberculosis. Heliotherapy can prevent and treat these disease conditions due to the ability of sunlight to: lower blood cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure levels; regulate hormonal processes; balance our internal biological rhythms; and kill bacteria. In particular, it has become imperative to recover lost knowledge of sunlight’s natural antibacterial effect, given the escalating issue of antibiotic-resistant bacterial infections.

Getting Sunlight Energy Safely

     The key to safely receiving the benefits of sunbathing is through brief, regular, and gradually increasing sun exposure. Such practices prevent sunburn by properly preparing the skin. It is especially important for individuals with pale skin to follow these guidelines, as research indicates that it is only among the fair-skinned segment of the population that the incidence of malignant melanoma is increasing. That increase is attributed to sun avoidance, which leaves the skin ill-prepared for exposure and contributes to burning.

     Safe sunbathing practices are done without sunscreen in the cooler temperatures of early spring mornings, continuing into the early summer. This can begin with five minutes of sun exposure to the feet and ankles. Those with darker skin can begin with longer exposure. Sun exposure is gradually increased up to 30 minutes. The amount of skin exposed is also gradually increased to include the full leg, exposing the torso last  and wearing a hat to protect sensitive facial, neck, and upper chest skin.

     You can read more about these guidelines established by pioneers of heliotherapy in Richard Hobday’s The Healing Sun: Sunlight and Health in the 21st Century. By using these guidelines, our bodies can synthesize and store enough vitamin D in body fat and skeletal muscle to maintain levels during low-light winter months, while avoiding a skin-damaging sunburn.

    For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

     Thank you for supporting this blog by using the amazon link embedded in this article for ANY purchase.  Your support is greatly appreciated! 

Harry Potter and The Law of Attraction!

   "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends."              ~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

  I was watching a biography of J.K. Rowling on YouTube the other night. She is the billionaire author of the Harry Potter novels. Rowling was a single mother living on public assistance when the inspiration for the Harry Potter series struck. In the interview I watched, she said "I spent five years immersed in a character who went from complete obscurity to fame overnight. And then the same thing happened to me." This is perhaps the most stunning example of the law of attraction at work that I have ever seen. But I got the sense that Rowling was not aware that one had anything to with the other, beyond "coincidence."

Creating Your Own Story

     When Rowling completed the first Harry Potter novel, she sought a publisher - which everyone told her would be difficult. The publisher who did buy her book loved it, but advised her not to quit her day job, because "authors of children's books don't make much money." How often are we told by well-meaning friends, family and consulting professionals what the "story" is about our situation? But we don't have to accept the stories given to us about our situations.  We can create our own story.

    For the first five years that Rowling wrote, she did so in obscurity and near poverty. Rather than focusing on the stories that she was being told about how hard it would be to become an author, Rowling's focus was with the magical world she was creating through her writing. She saw this world in her mind's eye, experienced every aspect of it and felt what her characters felt. Because this is how writers write. Our descriptions come from living through our characters.

The Law of Attraction

     By focusing on Harry Potter's rags to riches story, Rowling created her own rags to riches story in a spectacular way. Because our minds cannot tell the difference between what is happening in front of us, and what is happening in our minds. What we focus on creates our reality. And that is the law of attraction.

     Unfortunately, usually friends, family and consulting professionals will tell you their story, or the story of those they know rather than supporting the creation of your story. It does not matter if 999 out of 1,000 children's book authors can't make a living writing. It does not matter what the statistics say about your situation. You do not have to "beat the odds." In physics the outcome of an event cannot be predicted no matter how many times a particular outcome has occurred in the past. You create the outcome of an event by what you focus on. If you focus on the experience of success and abundance, that is what you create.

Be the Wizard of Your Own Life

     Rowling did not expect to become famous or a millionaire (or a billionaire!). She just wanted to share the world she created with others and become a published author. If you want to change your life, change the story:

1. Focus on what you love to do, what brings you joy and bliss, what you would do with your life if money was not an issue.
2. Visualize the life you want, without expectation or attachment to when and how it happens. Visualize it as if it is so.
3. Feel what it feels like in this life of your creation, as if it is reality and it will become reality.

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      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

     Thank you for supporting this blog by using the amazon link embedded in this article for ANY purchase.  Your support is greatly appreciated!