How to Deal With Your Inner Bully

    "The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts." 
~ Bryant H. McGill, Voice of Reason: Speaking to the Great and Good Spirit of Revolution of Mind

     You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. ~ Louise L Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

     Recently I saw a video on Facebook about how to deal with a racist bully verbally attacking someone in public. In the video, this was a man verbally attacking a Muslim woman. This is my interpretation of the video recommendations:

• Do not make eye contact or engage with the bully in any way. 
• Go straight to the person being bullied and introduce yourself with a smile. 
• Do not treat them like a victim or act like a rescuer.  Doing so just reinforces the bully in the victimizer role.  Instead treat the person being attacked with kindness and caring by engaging in a pleasant conversation.  For example, ask them about a movie they've seen recently or a book they've read. Focus on them exclusively and act like the bully isn't even there. This withdraws  energy from the conflict and expands the energy of kindness.  
• If the bully does not leave, ask the person if they would like to leave, such as going to get a cup of coffee.

     After watching this video, it occurred to me that this was excellent advice for any kind of verbal bullying - both internal and external!

Do you have an inner bully?

     Do you have an inner voice that throws your fears in your face, questions your decisions and calls you names - like stupid, silly, ridiculous or crazy? That's your lower self, also known as your ego. It's the part of you that is controlling and fearful. It says it's protecting you, but it's really keeping you small. How can you tell if an inner voice is your lower self?  Simply this: It's the voice that makes you feel bad about yourself.  

To deal with this inner bully, you can use the same guidelines as the video:

• Do not engage with your inner bully. Do not confront or argue with this inner voice. Don't focus on it or give any energy to it. 
• Go straight to the part of you that is wounded in the energy of loving kindness. Start a loving conversation with yourself, reminding yourself of all your positive attributes. Recall specific memories that empower you. As in...remember the time that you ____ and how good you felt about yourself...
• Do not feel sorry for yourself or treat yourself as a victim. And don't view your lower self as a victimizer. Doing so just reinforces these disempowering roles. Instead, redirect the energy by treating yourself like your own best friend.
• If the inner voice persists, immerse yourself in a pleasant activity.  Focus on any sights, smells, sounds and the physical sensations of this activity. What you focus on grows. What you withdraw your focus from dissipates. 

   

      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

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Why Rules Are Meant to Be Broken

  "...you not only have a right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn By Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life

     It's been a rough week.  I've felt rocked by a series of astrological squares, oppositional angles between planets that produce disharmony. Squares can bring to awareness the conflict of trying to reconcile opposing forces. Add to this a full moon lunar eclipse that brought fullness to fears and emotions.... and oh my -- what a combination!

     In the presence of a supportive group of women today, I finally got to the bottom of what has dried up my creativity and flattened my energy. It was the conflict created by following rules that don't fit me.  When someone with more experience in a particular area offers me a helpful "rule," my own rule is to follow it.  This is especially true for me when it comes to business rules that dictate and govern business actions.  Clearly following these rules was not working for me!

     When rules don't feel right and don't produce results, its easy to go to the place of "what is wrong with me?"  When rules don't work for us, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with us or something wrong with the rule. It means the rule is simply not compatible with our unique way of being in the world - our unique energy patterns. This incompatibility creates disharmony instead of harmony in our energy, and that blocks creativity and the flow of ideas -- which is bad for business! What works for one person simply may not work for another.

     So here are my "rules."  Feel free to break them:

• Rules are only guidelines or suggestions. 
• Rules should never be substituted for your own intuition. Even if someone has more expertise than you do in a particular area, you are the expert of YOU!
• If following a rule makes you feel tense, low energy or anxious, throw it out.
• If following a rule makes you feel relaxed, expansive or joyful, keep it. 
• The best rules are unique and made up by the individual, for the highest good of the individual.

                     CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION OF THIS POST

      For more energy healing solutions for sensitive and creative women, subscribe to this blog and go to my website to subscribe to my newsletter and receive a FREE recording "3 Keys to Removing the Blocks to Getting What You Want in Life" and a power-packed Energy Medicine Resource Bundle with handouts for my most effective energy healing skills! While you are there, check out my award-winning books and energy healing online courses that can teach you everything you need to know to live a healing way of life and awaken your greater health.

     Thank you for supporting this blog by using the amazon link embedded in this article for ANY purchase.  Your support is greatly appreciated!